Ringing in the New Year...

with, but of course, new resolutions. I was never big on these "new year resolutions". Why can't we have resolutions periodically throughout the year instead of that one moment that rings in the new year? I suppose that's when we hear the ringing the loudest but personal resolutions can happen throughout the year, just as long as our ears and minds are willing and open to hear the ringing.

Regardless, I decided to tack on the year-long list of resolutions to start the new year off right.  I think this is the first time since the new year began (hence why this post is belated) that I've been able to just sit, think and just pray--calming down my restless heart. 

2008: The majority of the year was a struggle. I'm not gonna lie, I felt as though my life was wasting away and eating my soul. I did squeeze in a trip to Hawaii (still an ongoing personal goal since my undergrad study abroad experience--travel at least once per year to satiate my wanderlust) but for a big chunk of the year, I felt depleted. I was this close in  holding up the white flag in defeat to the ways of the world, but God heard my cry and had other plans. The last 3 months of the year easily washed away those doleful first 9 months. For the first time in my life, I felt as though the jigsaw pieces of my life have come together to form that completed puzzle. Taking a step back at the finished puzzle, I finally saw the bigger picture--my purpose for the next chapter in my life in NJ. According to the lunar calendar, '08 marked the year of the Rat. That's me. And I finally was able to see the blessings of '08 at the very end. 

2009: Though that puzzle has been finished from '08, I open up a new puzzle box this year. The pieces are scattered and I turn them over right-side up to see the detached images. I have already seen a few are forming together and this is where my resolutions lie in 2 categories: Love and Life.

Love: As vague as this sounds, I truly  want to be a daughter, sister, girlfriend, and friend that is loving. Not only loving to them but lovable as well. I believe we're always changing as a person and growth happens frequently.  These roles I uphold in my life--are always changing. Despite the fact that I've been a daughter and sister for 24 years, I still feel as though I'm new at it. It's always fresh. Like any relationship, you start off new with an unexpected page--a new story to be written down to fill it. With each story and each role, I know there will be many challenges with cross-outs and eraser marks, but I want to be fearless this year. I want to have the courage to challenge the unexpected and grow together as a daughter, sister, girlfriend, and friend to become a better person. I don't want to be selfishly perfect because I know that's near impossible, but I want to be perfect for them, faults and all. No cross-outs, no eraser marks. Just an empty page ready and willing to be written on, which leads me to...

Life: There is a purpose in everything. My passion has been cultivated, and now it's time to mold that here as a journalist. I dream of bigger things (humanitarian relief, justice, peace, etc.)--to impact and make a difference with my hands reaching and my feet moving that God has provided me with. But before that, one step at a time. So, patience for that longing and trust that there is a purpose for me in this dying industry. Until then, I want to hone my craft in writing. No matter what story I'm covering (as lame as it may be), I don't want to lose my fervor nor do I want to be jaded. I want to continue to push myself and be diligent in reporting and writing to ultimately help me in the future puzzle. 

This concludes my first few significant resolutions of the new year (one of the less significant, well more or less, is giving up coffee for 40 days--teaching me self control)...updates to come, I'm sure.